Breaking Repeating Patterns in Your Life

Repeating Patterns

Have you ever noticed that similar situations tend to recur in life? Multiple relationships may have the same issues or end in the same way. We might encounter challenging personalities across different settings, like a critical friend, a judgmental family member, and a harsh boss. Perhaps you feel the adverse effects of alcohol, food, drugs, or any other type of addiction.

We’ve all heard the saying that doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. The repeating patterns in your relationships and interactions are just a cosmic extension of that concept. Until we recognize these patterns and learn the lessons, they will continue to manifest.

My personal story revolves around relationships. I dated unsuccessfully for 20 years before meeting my fiancé. To clarify, when I speak of a “successful” relationship, I’m referring to my own definition of success. It’s important to understand that success in relationships looks different for everyone. It’s not about society’s standards or anyone else’s definition; it’s about what aligns with your journey and what works for you personally. I by no means claim to be a relationship expert, I am just focusing on my personal journey.

For me, a successful relationship means having a partner who adds to my life, is emotionally available, seeks commitment, and wants to work as a team to help each other’s growth. Deep down, that is what I desired. However, I wasn’t attracting that kind of partner because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I was unaware of my inner wounds, my fear of abandonment, and how my tendency to people please was adversely affecting my relationships. I struggled to value myself or understand what I needed in a healthy relationship, leading me to seek love and attention from men who were not on the same page.

As time went on, I became increasingly anxious. I had internalized the societal belief that as each year passed without marriage or children, something must be wrong with me. (Such a ridiculous notion) I repeatedly met unavailable men who made promises that were never kept. I even developed a pattern where someone would express interest, raise my hopes, and then suddenly change their mind when it was time to follow through. This happened several times in a row. While the individuals and circumstances differed, the same disappointing outcome kept occurring. The only constant was me.

I wasn’t entirely oblivious, I started recognizing patterns and learning lessons along the way. However, I didn’t realize I was unintentionally calling in that energy. By living in fear of abandonment, I was manifesting that very outcome. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more I feared abandonment, the more I attracted situations that mirrored that fear. I didn’t understand that the energy we put out into the universe is what we receive in return. By holding onto that fear, I was effectively creating the reality I feared.

It wasn’t until I began shifting my mindset, healing those wounds, and embracing the idea that I was whole and worthy, regardless of anyone else’s presence, that I could attract the relationship I desired. And let me tell you, it is better than I could have ever imagined! When you love and respect yourself and know you deserve the best, you’ll be amazed at what comes your way.

After my last experience of feeling “abandoned,” I decided to put my dating life on hold. I focused on self-improvement and sought to understand my inner knowledge. This journey of self-discovery and healing ultimately led me to the fulfilling relationship I am now a part of.

As you take time to reflect on your life, consider whether you are stuck in patterns that may be holding you back in different areas, like your career, personal growth, or overall well-being. Life is a journey filled with opportunities for growth, and we often find ourselves repeating the same behaviors without even realizing it.

Breaking free from these patterns takes introspection and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. Ask yourself what you truly want and need to create the life of your dreams. By understanding your motivations and fears, you can unlock new possibilities.

This journey of self-discovery can lead to significant change. When you commit to it, you might find that the life you desire is much closer than you think. So, take a moment to pause, reflect, and explore the valuable lessons life has to offer; you may be surprised at what awaits you on the other side.